13 Apr 2006, 05:13

The end of an age old debate

It seems that the whole time we were wondering whether pirates or ninjas were more awesome we were asking entirely the wrong question. The true winner of the struggle for awesomeness has emerged from the shadows and it’s… ATF agents? Despite the fact that ninjas are not normally known for being involved with either alcohol, tobacco, or firearms ATF agents recently detained a University of Georgia student who was dressed like a ninja as he was leaving a “pirates vs. ninjas event” on campus. As I’m sure you’re aware, the only way a ninja would be leaving such an event would be if all the pirates were dead. That the ATF agents were able to subdue the victorious ninja clearly shows that they deserve their place on the top rung of the awesome ladder. In addition to vast physical prowess these agents obviously possess a fearsome cunning as well:

‘Seeing someone with something across the face, from a federal standpoint ó thatís not right,’ McLemore said, explaining why agents believed something to be amiss.

Obviously from a state or city jurisdiction standpoint this situation would be no cause for alarm. Fortunately thanks to highly trained federal agents we have nothing to fear from collegiate ninjas with something across their face.