07 May 2002, 18:50

I just got a prerecorded

I just got a prerecorded telemarketing call while working in a campus computer lab. That’s the most ridiculous thing ever, as if its not enough that there are 2 or 3 of them everyday at home. I’m imagining a dark near future in which the telephone is only allowed to be used as a marketing device, enforced by corporate law and upheld by a puppet federal government. Of course, if we know anything about dark near futures its that we’ll have Robocop out there sticking up for the little guy, so it won’t be all that bad. I don’t know what he’d do about the phone laws, but I have to think it would involve a lengthy grassroots campaign to raise support, followed by lobbying and introducing new legislation to be approved by the House. Then there would be shooting, lots of shooting and maybe some explosions which Robocop would walk through unscathed and then ricochet a single precisely aimed bullet off the wall to hit the Speaker of the House who was holding Robocop’s partner hostage. At that point Robocop would quip, “Veto this, scumbag” to reveal the humanity that still remained under his indestructible titanium exoskeleton. God bless you Robocop, I don’t know what we’d do without you.