06 May 2002, 03:31

Today I learned the valuable

Today I learned the valuable lesson that its ok to cheat, as long as its for a good cause, for example the Central Ohio AIDSwalk. It all started out innocently enough when I agreed to go on the AIDSwalk, but quickly degenerated into a web of deception, trickery, and flavored Gatorade “fitness water”. Jolayne and I planned to bike downtown to meet up with a group of other walkers from our church at the park where the walk began. And thats where things started to fall apart. We showed up barely on time at Goodale park, where someone (and I’m not going to say Jolayne here. Or even imply it.) thought the walk was to begin only to find it entirely empty. After some quick fact checking, we realized we needed to get even further downtown to Bicentennial Park which we managed to do about 20 minutes after the start of the walk. So there we were, bringing up the absolute rear of the AIDSwalk far behind the rest of the crowd. It seemed our only chance to catch up was to do some serious walking and sing “Eye of the Tiger” repeatedly. Or at least as much of it as we knew, which only ended up being “Dun! Dun Dun Dun! Dun Dun Daaaaah! Eye of the tiger!” It quickly became apparent that this approach was somewhat lacking. Our only other choice was to stealthily blend in with the crowd next to our friends as we passed them coming back the opposite way almost half way through the route. Our stealth technique was inadequate to say the least, but at least we finally caught up with our friends in the main group. It was a beautiful day though, and a really great time to be out and walking around with friends so I think that made it all worth it. Actually that’s not it. What made it worth it, and something we would have missed if we were on time, was an exchange between two men and two women that occurred on a crosswalk near the start of the walk. The two guys were standing on one side of the street and making catcalls to the women as they crossed the street. One of them yelled out: “One of y’all got some healthy ass calves!” That’s the most beautiful random thing I’ve overheard in a while. The women kept on walking, but I can’t help but think that deep down, one of them was secretly flattered. Whichever one had the healthy ass calves that is.