Are there any two more beautiful words in the English language than “free food”? I think not. Last night I hit the free food jackpot thanks to my friend Dana. The Pizza Hut where his wife Kristin is a manager just completed remodeling and had a free food celebration for friends and family of its employees. Everything on the menu, free. Dana, Neal, Brett, and I decided we had no choice but to take them up on their kind offer. I mean, hey, free food. Our waiter kept suggesting more food items that what we ordered, and let me tell you, its not hard to pull off a pressure sell when everything is free. I think this must have been his first time waiting tables, since we got our drinks refilled about five times and checked on every two minutes. At first it was nice, but then started to border on creepy and obsessive. Also around the fifth Pepsi, my stomach ruptured and I died. It was worth it though, on account of the free food. I even ended up taking half a dessert pizza home which was, did I mention, free.